A lady named Nora Roth has performed a number of maths calculations and she's worked out that Jesus is on his way back to visit us and the world will end shortly afterwards. So, maybe don't bother getting anyone anything for Christmas?
I was never very good at maths in school and when I think back on it I mostly remember hating algebra. I don't remember the bit where miss worked out when Jesus was coming back to end life on Earth, and I went to Catholic school.
Writing on her blog, The Mark of the Beast, which features a fun Comic Sans header that seems a bit out of place alongside the thousands of words on how we're all fucked, Nora goes into detail about just why the world is due to end and, really, there's nothing we can do.
Advert
I'm starting to get a bit nervy here. I've not lived the most righteous life, but not to worry, because Nora has got our backs with a helpful What Do I Need To Do Now? section.
"Dear reader," she writes, "God loves you very much. He wants to live with you forever. I appeal to you to carefully consider your priorities and to choose today whom you will serve. I invite you to accept Jesus as your personal Saviour, right now. Ask Him to forgive your sins and thank Him for dying for you. Ask Jesus to teach you more of the truth from the Bible."
Advert
As you can see from this highly scientific little calculation, we're screwed. That man working bit is spot on, too. Credit: markbeast.com
Apparently after we're all smote for being terrible people, the Earth will then rest for 1,000 years before it all starts up again. It goes in sevens, you see - as in the seven days it took God to make the universe - and our 6,000 years of sin are almost over. They've been good, though, haven't they? Nice while they lasted.
Featured image credit: Paramount Pictures/Fox
Featured Image Credit: