A word of advice - instead of listening to the lads in the locker room, always refer to science first.
A lot of blokes across the globe reckon they have a perfect penis and talk a pretty good talk, but now a team of experts have uncovered what the preferred width actually is.
In this day and age of dating apps and sexting, people often get a sneak preview of what they might be dealing with in the bedroom long before they've even arranged a date.
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Ah, chivalry. Remember that?
Sending d**k pics normally goes one of two ways - immediate success, where the receiver is booking a taxi and already en route, or downright horror which leaves them frantically pressing the block button.
But they've actually come in handy for a team of scientists who wanted to find out what observations people can make about a bloke when looking at a picture of their penis - and what girth, length and pubic hair style is a hit with the overwhelming majority.
In a 2022 study, published in the journal Sexuality & Culture, researchers asked 106 students at Texas A&M University-Commerce to rate numerous snaps of males nether regions.
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Participants had 24 different images put in front of them and were tasked with putting them in order of what they found most attractive - taking into account the girth, length and amount of pubic hair.
But they also had to keep in mind what else they picked up from the pictures, such as any characteristics of the man's personality based on his grooming choices down below.
The students were asked to stew over the penis snaps and work out if they suggested that the blokes were givers or takers in the bedroom, sexually active, extroverted, good in bed, anxious, dependable or adventurous... to name a few.
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The majority of those who participated in the study were straight women, who made up 80 percent of the research group.
Ah, and the pictures were provided by publicly available Reddit forums where men had uploaded pictures of their manhood.
So without further ado, let's see what people seem to actually want in a perfect penis.
According to the study: "There were significant differences between how participants perceived penises with low-girth and high-girth."
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Those with a girthier penis - meaning it's wider and thicker - were ranked as more attractive by the study group.
They reckoned that men who boast one of these are better in bed, open to new experiences, sexually active and more extroverted than those with a slimmer snake - who they deemed to be more neurotic.
Participants said they thought thoughts with a high-girth are also probably 'pleasers' in the bedroom rather than 'pillow princesses', as well as guessing that they have had more sexual partners than their peers with a narrower todger.
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Blokes with long penises are also in luck, as the research found that people thought they were also more attractive, extroverted, better performers, pleasers and conscientious.
Whereas those with short penises were again seen as more neurotic. There's a bit of a theme here.
And as for the preferred pubic hair - which was a choice of untrimmed, trimmed and no hair at all - the students said that trimmed was the most attractive.
The research paper added: "While they were perceived to be more conscientious than non-trimmed pubic hair, they did not significantly differ from fully shaved pubic hair.
"Penises which were wider, longer, and moderately hairy were perceived more positively in terms of personality and sexual appeal.
"This research demonstrates that genital appearance may contribute to socially shared implicit theories about people, regardless if these impressions reflect the true personality of the person being assessed."
Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock ImagesTopics: Health, Science, Sex and Relationships