"Your anus is not only the place where poop comes out. It's also the hole that could earn you £5,000," - intrigued? I'd be surprised if you weren't.
These are the words of entrepreneur Brian Sloan, who found major success last year with a vagina beauty contest, and he has decided to follow up on that triumph by doing the same with arseholes.
As we all know, arseholes are like opinions - everyone has one - so this contest is open to both men and women, rather than limiting the contest to girls who can show off their bearded clams or lads and their hairy bunguses.
Sex toy manufacturer Autoblow hosts the competition, offering $10,000 to those who come in the top three, with $5,000 (£4,015) going to the triumphant chocolate starfish on November 8.
Credit: Anus Contest
"I hope that all Americans will warm up their voting rights in the anus contest before hitting the polls to vote in the presidential election on November 8th," Sloan said. "I invite people from all countries of the world, especially those which are not democracies, to experience the unique flavour of our American democratic process by participating in the anus contest, which I have constructed to be as much like our presidential election as possible." It's ironic that both voting polls occur at the same time, because if anyone votes for Donald Trump in the presidential election, they're voting for an arsehole there, too.
To most of us, anuses have never really been an attractive thing to look at - they're more of a mystery, if anything. Generally they're a no go area for both genders, and considered an exit only passage. Some people have become bored of other orifices on offer though, so venturing round to the back alley has risen in popularity. It's kind of like sneaking round to the backdoor when drunk, because coming in through the front may create too much noise.
Despite the fact that they're not particularly arousing, we may see some entries that prove us wrong. Who knows, there may even be some colourfully decorated ones - like an arsehole vajazzle, a bujazzle.
In order to emerge victorious, all you have to do is submit a picture of your arse with 'Autoblow Anus Contest' written on a piece of paper. People will then vote for their favourites.
A competition for the people, decided by the people. Good luck, everyone.
Featured image credit: Anus Contest
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