Sometimes in life, failing to overcome the urge to get on all fours and go to town on a drain cover in the middle of the street happens to the best of us.
I suppose if you're a boring, authority type then gutter sex is "indecent" and "illegal" and "frowned upon" and "completely inexcusable" and all the rest of it.
That is the barrage of criticism currently being thrown at Florin Grosu after he was pictured enjoying a little grate embrace in broad daylight.
Dressed in a cosy bathrobe, jeans and trainers, the 33-year-old man from Romford can be seen assuming the position only yards from a busy junction.
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Grosu looks around before eventually making his move. It was 11am.
When it's all said and done, he gets up and walks towards a block of flats, pulling his trousers up. Sirens are then heard ringing out as police arrive to arrest him.
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The footage was passed to the police but was not played in court.
Image: Universal Pictures
Grosu, thought to be from Romania, was later charged with outraging public decency by simulating sex with a drain cover, as well as exposing his privates to cause distress or alarm to a police cell mattress.
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He faces six months if found guilty.
Why are we attracted to inanimate objects?
This... trend (?) actually has a name: objectum sexuality.
According to author Mack LeMouse, its roots are in psychological issues.
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He writes: "A psychodynamic explanation of objectum sexuality meanwhile might focus on defense mechanisms such as projection. Here the individual may have strong sexual or emotional feelings that they find difficult to come to terms with - perhaps through fear of becoming vulnerable to another person, or perhaps because the object of their affections is deemed inappropriate.
"As a result the unconscious mind attempts to protect the conscious part of the psyche from the reality by directing that love toward a harmless and 'safe' inanimate object."
Most famously, this type of sexuality was featured in the documentary 'Strange Love: Married to the Eiffel Tower', which followed the lives of two people in a relationship with the Eiffel Tower.
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