I've been single for as long as I can remember.
I'm not sure whether it's the fact I'm completely undateable, I have a doughy physique or the fact I was granted permanent residency in the friendzone with every girl in the world when I was 18 but I just can't seem to nail down this relationship malarkey.
While my friends who I grew up with suffer long-term relationships, buy houses, get married, have babies and generally become less likely to want to come out out with me, I plough on searching for 'the one' in some of Manchester's very worst bars and clubs, pretending I'm still 21 and carefree rather than approaching 25 and worried I'll never provide my mother with the grandchild she is so desperate for.
Comedian Gary Meikle knows what I'm talking about. The only difference is that he's been in a long-term relationship before and is 39 years old.
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Gary. Credit: Facebook
Single for three years, his mother has become increasingly concerned that her son will end up on the bachelor scrapheap, too engrossed with his work on the comedy circuit to ever find him a woman who'll love him like she wants someone to.
And so, regardless of the fact that a mother's compliments are the biggest cock-block known to man, she took to Facebook to find her son a woman.
This is mum-on-Facebook 101...
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Credit: Facebook
Gary told TheLADbible: "It bloody better be a joke or she'll get put into a home the first time she soils herself!
"She said it was a joke but she isn't joking about me getting married and having kids. She doesn't shut up about it."
You aren't the only one, pal.
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Gary and his mum. Credit: Provided
For any women out there reading this and thinking they'd like themselves a slice of Gary, he mentioned although he's hardly dreaming of walking down the aisle, he does like to hope he might meet the one some day.
COULD IT BE YOU!? I don't know. But it could be. Don't be shy.
Gary, from Glasgow, has been a comedian for three years and won best newcomer at the Scottish comedy awards last year. Now he gigs all over the UK.
But he's still single.
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Featured image credit: Provided
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