Warning: This article contains discussion of suicide which some readers may find distressing
Some shows become so big that we can’t imagine its stars in any other way.
Like Breaking Bad’s Giancarlo Esposito, when he popped up in The Gentlemen, fans were quick to make references to one of TV's most iconic villains, Gustavo Fring.
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And while he may have solidified himself as a household name nowadays, life was very different for the actor before.
So different, in fact, that the 65-year-old actually considered plotting his own murder.
Before landing the role as the 'Chicken Man', Esposito went through two bankruptcies and a foreclosure on his home.
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And during a recent interview on SiriusXM, he revealed the dark thoughts he had in order to help out his family.
“My way out in my brain was, ‘Hey, do you get life insurance if someone commits suicide? Do they get the bread?’ My wife had no idea why I was asking this stuff,” he recalled.
“I started scheming. If I got somebody to knock me off, death by misadventure, [my family] would get the insurance. I had four kids.
"I wanted them to have a life. It was a hard moment in time. I literally thought of self-annihilation so they could survive. That’s how low I was.”
Esposito had been grafting since the 80’s but it wasn’t until he appeared in the 2009 second season of Breaking Bad that he shot to fame, considering his murder just the year before.
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The star continued: “I started to think, that’s not viable because the pain I would cause them would be lifelong, and lifelong trauma that would just extend the generational trauma with which I’m trying to move away from.”
He called the hit show the ‘light at the end of the tunnel’.
Esposito previously spoke with LADbible about the infamous Breaking Bad character.
“I think that when it comes to business, Gustavo Fring is all business,” he said. “Although I think he hires meth cooks and chefs who are the best.
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"But he demands excellence. And I think what you people really may not know is that Gustavo can cook himself. He is that good."
Fans were also gutted recently to not see Esposito with his co-stars for a reunion at the Screen Actors Guild (SAG) Awards, but he said while he ‘was invited’ he was unfortunately working and missed out.
If you’ve been affected by any of these issues and want to speak to someone in confidence, please don’t suffer alone. Call Samaritans for free on their anonymous 24-hour phone line on 116 123.
Featured Image Credit: AMCTopics: Mental Health, Breaking Bad, Celebrity