It all started with an all day session with 3 of the LADs, taking advantage of Tesco crate deals, raiding Strongbow and Stella crates using well earned Casino money as a pre-drink towards BirthdayLAD's gathering at local social club. Once the Crates were gone, and our legs and vision were going, the wolfpack finally attended, scouting for wenches. One of the LADs began attempting to seduce a wench around her mid 20's, who had purple hair and skanky teeth, an absolute 0/10. I ridiculed the fellow lad and began knocking back Jagermeister. I then awoke to Wingman waking me up in a wenches bed saying: "LAD, I'm ringing a taxi now, you coming?". Being as rough as I was I politely declined. After he left I thought: "What the fcuk did he mean, ringing a taxi?". I sat up and noticed I had a sh*g bite on my chest and was sitting in a pink bed, in a pink bedroom, where a pram was present, a poster of JLS, with a cat sat at my feet which only had 3 legs. Shocked, I looked to the left as to which wench this hideous room belonged to. Only to see a large head of purple hair. I had a peek and it was the disgusting wench from the bar earlier, who I ridiculed a fellow LAD for creeping on. Immediately I got dressed, stole her fags, and left the house. I found myself in a town 8 miles away from the original binge, close to my cousins house. When I arrived he asked where I had been and why I looked so pale. I said I had woken up in a strange house with a smelly d**k. I told him vague details as so he did not know the true identity of the wench in question. However he started to laugh and got his phone out on Facebook and showed me the exact same wench I had just left. Laughing hysterically he claimed: "That's my ex girlfriend, and even I cast her off because I caught Chlamydia from her!". I was now panicking and went to make a brew, meanwhile he rang my Mum to tell her the horrible news, laughing while he did so, and also the rest of the family. He then turned to me and high fived me declaring we were not only cousins, but now Eskimo brothers and should never talk of it again, except when introducing new girlfriends to the family. Even my GrandLAD calls me a filthy bastard after learning the identity of the skank wench. HumiliatedLAD