It is my birthday today, i have woken up to receive a text from the bestLAD saying. "Bring a snorkel, football and a ski mask to the park ill meet you at 4" WorriedLAD
Went to the pub with a 17 year old friend last night to have a meal. The bouncer came over an hour later to check I.D. On seeing he was only 17 and with a pint in front of him he tried to kick us out. I cleverly replied that it was legal to have a pint with a meal over the age of 16. He then pointed to the 8 empty glasses on the table and banned us from the pub. 10pintswithamealLAD
My Dad's always been a bit of a prankster but last night he out-did himself. I've recently moved into a new house and Dad offered to help spruce up the garden, saying he's got some plants he doesn't need and he'd be happy to give them to me. He said the plants were called Nepeta Cataria, would that be OK? I said sure that sounds good. What I didn't realise is that Nepeta Cataria is also known as catnip. So I left Dad to work on the garden while I went out, I returned home several hours later a bit tipsy. When I got home I could hear some very weird sounds coming from my garden. I went outside to see what can be best described as a cat orgy, with cats rolling round, freaking out and dribbling all over the place. To add insult to injury he texted me the next day asking if I got any pussy last night. Not only had he used the plants but he had also used to catnip spray and sprayed that around the garden. I know he will be reading this and laughing his head off. Well played Dad, well played. OriginalPranksterLAD
Took voluntary redundancy starting today, otherwise my colleague would probably have been let go - he's in his 40's with 3 kids whereas I'm 22 and have a bit of cash saved. So to treat myself I'm currently loading up Football Manager and eating chocolate buttons before I start looking for a new job tomorrow. Could be worse...
Whilst on a LADs holiday in Kavos i decided to get an early night one night. However my sleep was short lived as i awoke to the sound of my own name being screamed in pleasure. I turned to see my bestLAD being grinded by a beefy 4/10. It turns out this plump female saw our "tally" and didn't want to get with a HighScoringLAD and hence bestLAD quickly thought to tell her his name was mine, as i was bottom on the tally (got a girlfriend)... hence one awkward night of myself being told where to stick what and how hard to do so whilst i lay on my bed alone pretending to be asleep. StolenIdentiityLAD
Living as an ex-pat in Bahrain. Woke up bright and early for work & thought that Aircon unit in the hall doesn't sound right... open my bedroom door to what can only be described as a football sized, angry hornets nest !! After a brief period of screaming & even a few tears i thought lets do this... wrapped up in most of my wardrobe (mesh bin upside down on my head) armed with lynx, a lighter and a broom & went to war. Only one sting received and i'm arming myself for tonight's round 2 after work! Wish me luck lads. ExterminatorLAD
I liked this girl (7.5/10) for a long time and we were really close until she friend zoned me and told me she had feelings for my bestLAD. Naturally, as any friend would, I swallowed my pain and wished my mate all the best. However my mate knew that I liked her for ages so didn't try anything with her. This tale of two LADs showing their mutual respect and loyalty may seem nice, but said girl is now getting with a random pikey on the regular and has had a boob job. MoralsOverWenches
Natalie Pinkham, Sky Sports F1 reporter goes Ice racing with 2007 F1 champion Kimi Raikkonen, he drives her around for abit, then they swap and she drives, after a couple of minutes she crashes and she says "I love it how you let me crash" and Kimi replies "Happens often with women in cars" IcemanLAD
I went over to Amsterdam with a mate and as soon as we got there we got straight into the cafes. We then carried on to go on a pub crawl. Next thing we know we're wrecked in the last club and I decide to head home. After doing a full circle I end up back at the club. I try and again and make it, this time with Macdonalds. I get back to the flying pig hostel and find two Canadian birds in the hostel.
I head off to bed. Half hour later power chuck from the top bunk. Both girls wake up in disgust. I tend to the mess slightly. I thought to myself maybe if I say the smell sucks here ill be able to bunk with one of the girls. The bottom girl isn't keen, so top one it was. Got down to business then passed out.
Next morning, wake up and I feel my stomach about to explode. So I leant over the top bunk and spewed straight down. All I hear is "omg omg omg".
Her friend was tying her shoe lace and it went all over her.
Needless to say we made a swift exit. Good times.
Went round my girlfriends house for the first time yesterday to meet her parents and me being the clumsyLAD i am, went to sit down in the living room and sat on the cat. It made an almighty scream so I sh*t my self and jumped up spilling my tea all over the cream carpet, so I grabbed a cloth from the kitchen to be polite and clean up the tea obviously her mum said dont worry I'll do that but I continued anyway. Then as I bent down to try and soak up the tea I hit my head on the coffee table.. If it couldn't get any worse, as I was reversing out of their drive doing the awkward wave goodbye while trying to reverse out I nearly knocked a cyclist off his bike and got an earful from said cyclist. Good first impression that was...
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