I woke up this morning in the same way I always do: slowly, groggily, unhappily, wishing I could have five more minutes. I rolled over to turn off my alarm, checked my phone and saw I'd received a Facebook message. Here's what I read...
Why can't we be friends.
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Morning mate. Chill out. I've barely woke up and you're having a go. At least wait until after I've had breakfast.
Anyway, you know what would have been a far better way to have woken up? With an orgasm.
I can only imagine a similar thought process was behind the invention of the 'Little Rooster alarm', a new device that combines a vibrator with an alarm clock so that women can be woken up with an orgasm.
Credit: Little Rooster Store
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The alarm is worn inside womens' knickers so that the long plastic rod of it sits on their clitoris. Usrs set an alarm time and then instead of emitting a loud noise to wake them up, it simply starts to vibrate. The vibration automatically increases until it's snoozed.
Which I can imagine is better than being woken by this contraption...
Video credit: YouTube / Funny TV
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It costs £69 in the UK and has 27 levels, all silent, as well as snooze and travel lock functions. It's completely rechargeable and comes complete with a one-year warranty.
And according to one reviewer on the product's websites, its usage isn't just for mornings.
"I wore it during romantic dinners, set to go off during dessert as we sat watching the sun set over the beach," one customer wrote. "I think the waiters must have thought I hadn't had a creme brûlée in months!"
Sadly, for male readers, there's yet to be a similar device invented to toss you off.
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Featured image credit: Little Rooster Store