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Act Introduced To Ban Men From Masturbating In Texas

Act Introduced To Ban Men From Masturbating In Texas

A weird one.

James Dawson

James Dawson

Sad news for anybody who enjoys masturbating and lives in, or intends on travelling to, Texas.

Texas politician Jessica Farrar has introduced a bill that would see men who masturbated fined $100 (£82) for committing "an act against an unborn child".

She created the "Men's Right To Know Act" to highlight how women are unfairly targeted by regulations in reproductive health care.

The legislation would ensure men were penalised for ejaculating outside a vagina or a sanctioned medical clinic, and was introduced by the Democrat last week.

Ms Farrar said the bill, which imposes a 24-hour waiting period if a man wants a vasectomy or access to Viagra, mirrors real laws and restrictions faced by women in Texas.

Here is the bill in full...

SHORT TITLE. This chapter may be called the Man's Right to Know Act.

PURPOSE. The purpose of this chapter is to express the state 's interest in promoting men 's health; ensure Texas men experience safe and healthy elective vasectomies, Viagra utilizations, colonoscopies procedures, and men 's health experiences; ensure a doctor's right to invoke their personal, moralistic, or religious beliefs in refusing to perform an elective vasectomy or prescribe Viagra; and promote fully-abstinent sexual relations or occasional masturbatory emissions inside health care and medical facilities, as a means of the healthiest way to ensure men's health.

INFORMATIONAL MATERIALS. The Department of State Health Services shall create and distribute informational materials containing information reflecting the requirements and legislative intent in this Chapter. The Department shall entitle the information materials "A Man's Right to Know." The Department shall establish rules and procedures for the creation and distribution of the informational materials that exactly follow the rules and procedures of the informational booklet entitled "A Woman's Right To Know." The booklet will contain scientific information that must be verified and supported by research that is recognized as medically accurate, objective, and complete by the National Institutes of Health and affiliated organizations. The booklet must contain medical information related to the benefits and concerns of a man seeking a vasectomy, Viagra prescription, or a colonoscopy. The booklet must contain artistic illustrations of each procedure.

PROHIBITED CAUSES OF ACTION. A cause of action may not arise, and damages may not be awarded, on behalf of any person based on the claim their doctor refused to perform a vasectomy procedure, prescribe Viagra, perform a colonoscopy, or withheld any other men's health procedure due to their personal, moralistic, or religious beliefs. This section may not be construed to eliminate any duty of a physician or other health care practitioner under any other applicable law.

VIEWING PRINTED MATERIALS; HEARING VERBAL EXPLANATION. An attending physician must verbally review the informational booklet entitled "A Man's Right To Know" with every male patient seeking a vasectomy, Viagra prescription, or colonoscopy.

INFORMED CONSENT REQUIRED. A person may not perform an elective vasectomy, prescribe Viagra, or perform a colonoscopy procedure without the voluntary and informed consent of the man on whom the elective vasectomy or colonoscopy procedure is to be performed, or Viagra is to be prescribed.

Democrat Texas state representative Jessica Farrar.

VOLUNTARY AND INFORMED CONSENT. Consent to an elective vasectomy or colonoscopy procedure, or a prescription of Viagra is voluntary and informed only if at least 24 hours have passed since the initial health care consultation for the procedure or prescription.

HOSPITAL MASTURBATORY ASSISTANCE REGISTRY. The Department must establish and maintain a registry of private non-profit organizations and hospitals that register with the department to provide fully-abstinent encouragement counselling, supervising physicians for masturbatory emissions, and storage for the semen. Costs will be absorbed by the hospital or contributing private non-profits.

SONOGRAM ELECTION. An attending physician must administer a medically-unnecessary digital rectal exam and magnetic resonance imagining of the rectum before administering an elective vasectomy or colonoscopy procedure, or prescribing Viagra. This digital rectal exam and rectal sonogram must take place during the initial health care consultation before an elective vasectomy is performed, a prescription is given for Viagra, or a colonoscopy is performed.

FINES RELATED TO MASTURBATORY EMISSIONS. Masturbatory emissions created in health or medical facilities will be stored for the purposes of conception for a current or future wife.

(a) Emissions outside of a woman 's vagina, or created outside of a health or medical facility, will be charged a $100 civil penalty for each emission, and will be considered an act against an unborn child, and failing to preserve the sanctity of life.

(b) Penalties collected under this section will be deposited in a fund established by the Department of Family and Protective Services for the purpose of the care and services provided to children in the conservatorship of the Department of Family Protective Services in order to assist in the assertion of the importance of the sanctity of life.

SECTION 2. By not later than December 1, 2017, the Department of State Health Services shall make the materials required in this Chapter available for distribution.

SECTION 3. This Act takes effect September 1, 2017.

Featured Image Credit: Twitter

Topics: Texas

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