Some Clodpate Has The Audacity To Tell Us That We're Eating Pizza Wrong

It seems that everyday there's something that goes viral, telling us that we're all doing something wrong. Sometimes it's helpful, like telling us we've all been pooing wrong - thus helping to improve our overall number two experience.

Now, though, some blunderer has the audacity to tell us that we're eating pizza wrong. The cheek.

As far as I'm concerned, it doesn't matter how you eat pizza, just so long as it's eaten. You could eat it while suspended by your toes in a dungeon, eating the crust first and leaving the toppings until last - it's still great.

According to pizza purists, via the Manchester Evening News, there's apparently a correct way to enjoy a slice of pie.

via GIPHY

We've been holding the slice incorrectly, or so we're told, as you shouldn't hold it by the crust. It's likely that we've all been in the situation where grabbing it by the crust loses some of the toppings, sliding down to the middle of the box, ultimately ridding the slice of 70% of the goodness.

According to Enzo Coccia, who is Italian, so anything he says goes really, the best bet is to fold your slice into a wallet. "Because Neapolitan pizza was eaten on the street, folded twice upon itself like a wallet," he says.

Getting the wallet on the go causes minimal leakage, which is exactly what we want when eating pizza. Stray pepperoni is a demon.

Also, we're being told not to eat hard pizza. This one puzzled me, because who on earth has been eating hard pizza for this long thinking it's normal? I suppose Asda bought deep pan pizzas are a lot more stiff than proper pies, but we all already know they're terrible.

And, as a side note, which is completely unrelated to these 'pizza purists' tips, if you eat Chicago-style pizza you're a full-on melt.

Featured image credit: PA

Mark McGowan

Mark is a journalist at LADbible, who joined in 2015 after a year as a freelance writer. In the past he blogged for independent football fan channel Redmen TV, after graduating from Staffordshire University with degrees in journalism and English literature. He has worked on campaigns such as UOKM8? and IIOC.