Chuck Norris turns 77 today. A man principally known for co-starring alongside Bruce Lee in Way of the Dragon and long-running CBS show Walker, Texas Ranger. Oh, and of course 'the facts'.
As a United States Air Force veteran, and honed martial artist, it may come as a sting for Norris to know that younger audiences only know about him through an original stream of 'facts' written about him on the Internet a decade ago.
If you weren't around on the web circa the mid-noughties, or just don't really care for Chuck Norris, allow me to explain.
The 'Chuck Norris Facts' began life in summer 2005 after a thread called 'Post Your Vin Diesel Facts' had appeared in the SomethingAwful forum around the time of his flick The Pacifier. After the thread quietened down, teenager Ian Spector then took the gag to a website he called the 'Vin Diesel Fact Generator', encouraging visitors to contribute their facts.
Once Vin Diesel died down, Spector suggested that he be replaced by another equally 'macho' celebrity. Naturally, and overwhelmingly, the fans vouched for Chuck Norris.
This may have tied in with an ongoing 'Walker, Texas Ranger lever' joke Conan O'Brien was running on The Tonight Show at the time. Spector changed the name of the generator and site, debuted it in December 2005, and here we are, still talking about it almost 12 years later.
A Chuck Norris fact is an absurdity. A nonsense joke stipulating how Norris can do something that is in every sense impossible. For example, one of the facts was that 'Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door'.
They've arguably stood the test of time. Their Twitter account still boasts over 270,000 followers. A hefty figure considering the often short shelf life of memes these days.
Chuck and the fam. Image: PA
Norris openly conceded that the 'facts' were amusing, declaring his favourite was: "They wanted to put Chuck Norris' face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard." Pretty shit when you compare it to others like: "Chuck Norris can clap with one hand" but whatever, I'll let you off mate.
In 2007, Penguin USA garnered its pick of Norris facts and released a book titled 'The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 facts about the World's Greatest Human'. Norris didn't see the funny side on that occasion and even sued them in 2008 for "trademark infringement, unjust enrichment and privacy rights." He lost.
Then a year later, Norris released his own facts book. Adds up doesn't it?
Here's our pick of Chuck Norris facts:
1. Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
6. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
7. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
8. Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
9. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records, it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
10. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
If you've got any 'cool', 'modern', 'hip' or 'trendy' Norris facts that apply to life here in 2017, feel free to enlighten us in the comments below.
Happy Birthday, Chuck.
Featured Image Credit: PA